nwa would be minimally proud

somehow, this sentiment in purple chalk outside an einstein's just doesn't have the same effect.

mugshots

a long time ago, amy bought a mug in japan that was filled with "americanisms". i loved it, because it was so bizarre. this weekend, i went over to her & tara's condo, watched the Bears win, and played a playstation game called katamari (PLAY THIS GAME). as we were sitting around, i did a bit about the mug that i used to see every day. she ran to the pantry and pulled it out. i laughed forever reading it again.

LOVE NATURE
do you like vegetable?
we wanna live healthily.
Being healthy is beautiful.

to the corp

i've been doing a ridiculous amount of corporate comedy, which is mostly good because girrrrl is in need of the scratch. what isn't good, however, is when a client you and friends spent days of your life writing for ask you if they should have regrets about going with something funny to start their event, when the event is 30 hours away.

eat it.

"we're not funny people," said the client. really? guess what? i know. i can tell by your snotty-ass disposition, the way you treat me and my company, and by how boring and tedious our conversations are. we didn't solicit to you. you came to us. everyone else in your company seems like they rule. you have continually fucked us over and made us drop everything for you. you're irresponsive, rude, and dowdy. how are you such a stick in the mud? how do you live your life? i hate your life. if you think that corporate comedy is too risque, please don't watch an episode of friends - it'll be too much.

other ones besides that one have been exactly as they should be - goofy, grandiose, and fun. this one to the left is a pretty average set up for a workshop i helped teach for SC in arizona. pretty awesome. why they can't all be like that, i'll never know.

meade to order

admittal:
i am terrified of renaissance faires.

not only are they a turn-off, but much like people recoil from clowns or spiders, i recoil from meade and warlocks. i don't even know if warlocks are from then, i just wanted to write warlocks.

about two weeks ago, friends lori and steph did a reprehensible thing: they used their birthdays as a reason to make people gather at a ren faire. this, to me, was the dirtiest trick, the most unforgiveable or unforgiveables.

then, i drank three glasses of meade, and things sure didn't seem as bad. it was actually - well, sorta fun. super pretty day. made new pals that tagged along. there were so many people there. i got to watch street acts and see about a thousand breasts spilling out, and probably got hit on more in the span of a few hours than in a month or two. okay. i'll take it. once in a lifetime, i'll take it.

i had my own nerd moment too - i walked past this suit of armor and claws and immediately barked "isn't that sauron?" - it sure was. tim sniffen turned to me and smiled - well, you just revealed some true colors.

give the lady what she wants

so, marshall fields is now officially macy's in chicago.

i wish i had the energy to go into this in detail, because it's been a hilarious week. i'll give highlights... as expected, the resistance to macy's was present, and as CSz partnered with marshall fields before, macy's has decided to continue to partner with us for promotional work. essentially, CSz not only sells street teams to do things (which a lot of people can do), but they sell our product of being amicable and fun as much as anything else (something other people don't necessarily use). they needed that amicable nature this week, as we dealt with angry, angry people mad about the name change on state and randolph.

mostly, we handed out flyers and prepared people the day before - that was the hardest day, because people (thought they knew it was coming for about a year) were not prepared or excited about the change. if you'd ask me as a chicagoan if i was happy about macy's, i'd certainly say no back then. but apparently, MFs is closed everywhere else now - it isn't surprising, and it certainly is a part of corporate america, which i hate (look at camera, a la ricky gervais). but, they've employed all the old MF workers, made the building a national landmark, and changed nearly nothing. i don't really know what to care about here.

still, people were mixed - and they'd take a flier and be psyched (25%), take a flier and not care (40%), take a flier and feel guilt (15%), or punch us in the trach (20%). it was all really funny, so no one cared. we got some "macy's can suck one"-ish sentiments, but only until the next day. all weekend long into monday, macy's had random acts of kindness days - giving out umbrellas in the rain, paying for people's parking garage fees, giving them free CTA cards, or handing them krispy kremes - all proving that people, yes, are willing to be bought. everyone seems just fine with macy's now.

sad? maybe. i don't know. change is scary. but marshall field made his scrilla off captialism too. is the horde correct? well, as the man said "right or wrong, the customer is always right." we'll see what they believe, then declare it right.

p.s., he also said the quote "freedom is more than a word" (fair enough), and the title of this post, one of my favorite things to say on dates as a bit.

by the time i get to arizona

it's been a bit. i'm currently in arizona teaching a workshop with Second City. it's been a lot of work and lots of fun. i like improv.

we're in scottsdale - i hate being so close to pretty things and being locked in conference rooms, so i'm heading to the pool in a minute and on a mini-walk after for a bit. my friends chrissy and tracy used to live here, and though i've been elsewhere in AZ, i think i haven't been to scottsdale since. it's pretty. it's 97. that's nice. i also have a consult with a special doc about my bloodwork while i'm here. that makes me nervous. i'm not good about sharing stuff like that here and i'm trying to get better, so there it was. welcome in the door, friends.

otherwise, the event has been nice and everyone is awesome. i daresay i've never seen a corporations so jazzed about their business - they are uber-supportive to a near weird degree. my friend lori, also on this trip, recognized that it might be because the organization is 90% female - and it certainly seems to be a more nurturing enviro. is that real?

men are from mars, and wom...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

first person to recognize the title of the entry wins.... something.

no scrubs

the past few days have been spent in and out of medical centers. my immune system shot because of other junk, i have been diagnosed with strep, tonsilitis, and a possible sinus infection. ol' dumbbag should've known this was worse than your average cold, but i always err on the side of don't-be-a-wuss; in this case, my stubborn italian-ness of avoiding more docs at all costs was severely stupid. on monday evening, as i was about to eat with rich, i realized i couldn't swallow. it had hurt for days, but was in this moment an actual hazard. i've just been down on that part of life lately, doctors and zzzz, but - what a dumbo.

so, now, i'm much better, after two days of being near comatose. i'm on lots of antibiotics and - moreover, painkiller - so, i'm riding high at this point. with the exception of a few hours that i spent at SC this morning for an orientation, thissss one has enjoyed the company of friends and rest for the past while. sucks, but it's good. that makes sense, right? i'm high.

blimey, hold the bits

as an improviser, i can guarantee i will get him as a suggestion 400 times this weekend. i'm tempted, too, america. but, for now, RIP, steve irwin.

the state i'm in

this is neat. you can make a map of how many states of the U you've visited. i have visited 39! many props to dave and co, SC, and CSz for a few of those, and for the crew of my after-we-graduate-college-we-have-a-mandatory-road-trip-out-west-to-think-about-our-mortality trip for even more of them.

i'd sure like to see all of these. how many have you been to?

tell me, fool.

banana jerky

if you like bloopers, watch this sh*t. it's from a british game show called catch phrase. these things are my favorite things.

labor day - no labor

i can't believe this - i had tons of workshops and junk all week until friday afternoon, but this weekend? not one show. not at CSz, not at iO, not with SC. it is amazing.

have a super bad average cold. maybe the timing is good on having a cold, though i'd rather be outside playing on these last days of summer. i will do something this weekend. i am slightly regretting not going home to columbus to visit family, but didn't fully realize csz would be dark for the move to the CCPA this weekend. nice.

because of this, i'm blowing a lot of time. tons of needed rest, lots of movies. just saw Brick, a film noir essentially mapped over a current high school. this movie rules. it was acclaimed at Sundance in 2005. if you haven't seen it, see it. none of it is hokey, it's just really great and somehow believable. also saw Crumb today as i was severely medicated; also good. Kinda sad. It's a documentary, which i didn't realize when i netflixed it, by David Lynch. R. Crumb drew for Zap! Comix and was huge in starting underground comics. he's weird and interesting, sort of a perv, and his entire family essentially were recluses. i saw american splendor a year or two ago and meant to get this for a while. worth seeing if you like documentaries.