the dobbler effect

my iO team, merman, hung out for a while after our show on friday night. as many of our hangouts progress, we end up playing a game of truth or bear (you imitate a bear doing something, like returning a book to the library, then tell the truth about the question you're asked; SELF-EXPLANATORY). we started talking about people we love, and since this post, i've been thinking on my own time about who exists out there who i'd tell, if only to put out good karma in the world and let people know they are perfection to me.

right now, i'm learning a lot. in coupling, i'm not selective about many things, but i am pretty selective when it comes to personality (see: why dating is currently challenging for me, part 90). this may seem like a dumb statement, but i've found that some people just... aren't that selective. here's what i mean: we're human - and often we all just want to be with someone, you know? - so there we are, and we date, and we try, and we think, and we rationalize, and then we look up and 6 months of life has passed us by, and there you are. there you are. and... you know what? that's not enough for me. i don't want someone who's just okay for me right now, nor do i want to be that to someone else. life is already great for me. we all deserve more than okay.

life is awesome, after all, and this - this is someone who you will spend your precious time with, talk with, love - so shouldn't it be a someone you just like the most? for me, now, it is. that's the thing. in friendships, in relationships, in life.

okay, that's settled, so let's get to talking playfully: you never know love until you're in it, but it's fun to hypothesize about who you could get there with. there's just some people, in real life, that you know are a-ok. romance aside, i am blessed to know what i believe are some of the greatest people in the world. additionally, could some also be great partners-in-crime? yep.

for a drinking game in a bar, it takes even less qualifiers than the aforementioned to be a smitten kitten for an hour: yeah, i'm unconditionally happy to see blank, or maybe i have a friend-crush on them. right now, for fun, it's drunken hypothetical love.

sidenotes: last night, when i was in michigan city, i fell asleep to say anything. two christmases back, my friend eric gave me a book called sex, drugs, and cocoa puffs. amongst other things, author chuck klosterman argues that this movie has ruined women's lives forever by giving us the fictional character of lloyd dobbler. the book is well written and funny, and i'll bite - i love lloyd dobbler. is there a woman out there, seriously, of any orientation, that doesn't? he's awesome. it's awesome. nothing can take this away. he's fun. he has dude friends. he has girl friends. he's not flaky. he's kind. he checks in. he's bumbling and adorable. he's cute. it hurts.

so, while trying to put lloyd to bed (seriously), i've also been hypothesizing about who i would marry in fake life if that was also possible, having my pick of celebs or fictionals. these people would serve as a guidepost on what to look for in real-time. now, marry is big, so let's get real. not just hot-skis, and not just people you'd drop the f-bomb wit'. [editor's note:besides, marrying people means you can drop f-bombs with them all the time. right? just say no to bonin'-slumps, america!]

anyway, here's my currents of celebs and fictionals (subject to change):

1. lloyd dobbler, still* (but NOT john cusack)
2. paul schneider, of all the real girls - but not in the movie, in real life
3. ricky gervais. his laugh alone is enough.
4. adam horovitz from the beastie boys*
5. jennifer aniston, because she seems real and nice
6. dave eggers, of mcsweeney's, circa 1997
7. martin freeman as tim from the office (british) - perfect. perfect.
8. calvin, of calvin and hobbes, grown up*
9. jimmy stewart, age 32*
10. reese witherspoon or queen latifah, tie
honorable mention: Paul Rudd; usa
*=constant adoration

these are in no specific order, though i think it's funny to have reese and U-N-I-T-Y specifically tied. i smell a buddy flick!

as for truth or bear-ing (or, in this case, baring)... even though the above list and my own hidden list is based in silly conversation and not heady ideals - man. my friends, my friend crushes, my you're-the-best-s? thank you for what you give everyday. you remind of the better, not of the just enough. and lloyd dobbler - well, he wants us to have all that shit.