Tuesday, January 24, 2006

slow down, killer

second only to xsport, bally's at centrury mall is improv and young-person central. xsport is a nice gym, and it's underneath second city, which explains that. bally's, conversely, is 1 dollar a year, and that explains that.

if you go there and i don't know, please write me or comment, because a few of us are starting a little clubski to meet up once a week or something for a little midweek pick-me-up. workouts, when you do them 5 times a week, are pretty fucking boring. i used to hate working out with people, but now seeing pals there is nice. sometimes i get distracted with people around and that's the downside, but now it's good to be reminded that everyone is out there, doing healthy things rather than losing all their time in dens of bits or traditional offices, and has a different part of their life that you don't know about... that sort of thing.

let's talk about the weirdest thing, though. there is a guy who i have now worked out directly next to twice in the past week. bally's is big, and tons of people go there. how do i know this guy is the same guy, for sure?

HE
CHEWS
A
TOWEL
while doing an eliptical machine at 4.3 billion steps a minute!
...CHEWS A TOWEL!
LIKE, A WORKOUT TOWEL!

it is the weirdest thing i have seen in a long time. and it's aggressive, people. just aggressive chewing. this guy loves chewing! it's fully in his mouth, providing some weird ball-gag effect to eliminate pain from his speed-of-light circles.

sorry, friends, but if you chew sweat towels at the gym, you're out of the club.

6 Comments:

Blogger Austin of Sundrip Journals said...

well, today was supposed to be a day of humor and lightheartedness. thank you for a step in the right direction.

now, since this does link to my blog I'd better NEVER hear jokes about my disorder missy!

thanks for the pick me up,
Aussie

2:05 PM  
Anonymous trace said...

yikes.

you know what though, some people do that to get water...instead of a sportz squirt botts...like the old UNLV coach jerry tarkanian... he chewed too

what? i'm an lj

must be a little distracting though...and he must be a little slobbery with a towel in there? good thing he has a towel in there.

maybe you could chew a sock? you know to shake him up a bit?

2:08 PM  
Blogger tara d. said...

hi aussie! nice to meet you!

tracy, are you suggesting that i go there and try to one-up this guy? this might be the funniest idea out there. with a sock? it's almost too perfect. like, what if i did it and then he turned to me... then a big cartoon heart appeared between us?

funny.
funnier still:
"what? i'm an lj"

yeah you are.

3:33 PM  
Anonymous Meg said...

Or you could get a big bath towel and each chew one end of it, like Lady & The Tramp.

I wish I could be in your club!

3:58 PM  
Blogger eileen said...

TD, if I ever somehow ended up at your gym and saw you and towel chewer dude doing the Lady and the Tramp with a bathtowel on adjoining ellipticals, that would be the Funniest Thing I Ever Saw. Just the thought of it is making my eyes tear up with laughter.

8:01 PM  
Blogger tara d. said...

LADY AND THE TRAMP!

you have my word that this will happen.

signed,
james frey

12:19 AM  

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