crown plaza... taking it too far

staying at crown plaza here in NJ, i think a place that's affiliated with maybe like, holiday inns and hamptons. could be wrong, but it feels sim. anyway, upon arrival, the crownski provides you with a little sleep pack. it's a super nice gesture, and it felt awesome to imagine a zzzz-filled evening in my white, crisp linened king bed with seven pillows. but wait, seven pillows? man, that's a lot. overwhelming, actually.

more overwhelming? an eye mask, lavender linen spray, and earplugs. really? well, that's nice, i guess. but why can't i sleep here? oh, you've provided me a sleep cd that lulls me down? sorry friend, i still can't sleep. it's like you're psyching me out.

but this - this is the piece de resistance... really, it really is. my friend kirk found this in our main hallway. we took bets on whether it was a bit, but sure don't think it is.

"no children, leisure groups, marching bands or circus animals will be assigned to this area."

...

... ... hot bits? hot hotel bits?

if not, how do i get assigned to the wing where there are seals? please advise.

"