Friday, February 03, 2006

the prettiest girl in daley plaza!

thursday i went downtown to the daley center, a virtual hotbed of filing activity. i had to go downtown to meet a lawyer and get a check notarized. some of you know about my medical strugs, and this was related. this was all good things - one of my medical bills from a bum charge was reduced from 12 grand to 4, and i was to pay it in one lump sum. ga-goo!

it's scary to hand over a 4000 dollar check, especially when you're getting nothing back but um, satisfaction? - and of recent memory, this is probably the biggest check i've ever written. my friend gallen text messaged me during the process and dared me to write the check, hand it over, and say "BOING!" as i left. that made me laugh, and i have turned down no dare in recent history, so i did it if only for myself.

the experience overall was a nice one, because of a few things. to enter the gov't buildo, you have to scan your bag. a cop runs the machine, and as i was about to walk through, he said, "whoa, whoa - what beautiful eyes". i didn't hear him at first, so he said it again, and i think i nearly blushed. making me blush is hard, america, so i'll chalk it up to the fact that this guy was in uniform. he handed me my bag and i thanked him, then he asked if i had electronics in there. i said an iPod. he checked, then he whispered, "i just wanted a reason to talk to you longer". at that point, i maced him (with my mace shaped like an iPod!).

i went to a room inside the building where i think primarily people are either evicted or getting sued for something, and i'm neither. everyone behind the counter was over it. over it, to say the least. i walked up to the counter and gave this woman my check, and she droned on about what i needed to do, and i just smiled at her. "long day, huh?", i asked. she paused, then it was as if another person started talking. "i'm sorry to be so short with you, sweetheart," she said, "but i do this all day, and people sure are mad in here." i nodded, understood, and filled out my paper.

while doing so, a man walked up to me. middle aged, in a suit, carrying a briefcase. "you know what you're doing, there?", he asked. "i'll give you free legal advice."
"i think so," i said. "hard to say, but i think this stuff is nearly overwith."
he paused and looked at me. "heavens," he said, "who on earth would want to sue you?" he then smiled, and walked away whistling, twirling a cane. then an iris closed in and we faded to black. fin.

y'all, the lesson is it just takes a little sunshine! that's all!
i was wearing a polar fleece, for christ's sake.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

It does take sunshine - Yeah, and a slammin' rack!

2:00 AM  
Blogger tara d. said...

my brothers are barfing in their mouths, but i will take this compliment and run for it. like, baywatch run.

2:15 AM  
Blogger christine said...

I wish I had an ipod shaped mace spray.....But then I might use it on myself at the gym, and that would be bad.

These security guards these days....they are so frigging chatty. The screeners at the airport are like stand-up comediens. "Why are you handing me your ID? did you want me to know your address so I could send you a letter, har, har?" When I am all "no,you knob, I never know when you want this fucking thing because it seems like noone has checked it yet!!" (mace mace)

I think the are all chatty to see if you are sketchy or not. Like if they said, "Ahhh, must be cold up there this time of year?" and you said "Maine?Cold?" they would instantly handcuff and question youabout where the bomb is hid.

...but I think this guy had the hots for you tara....they usually aren't that forward.

I hope you really said "boing"

5:59 AM  
Blogger Zach said...

...and the world will be a better place
yeah, the world will be a betta place
for you
and me
you seeeeeeeeeeeeee?
Put a little love in yo heart!

9:27 AM  
Blogger Zach said...

also, you should have called so we could have lunch.

9:27 AM  
Blogger VinnyDF said...


My sister has a wwwwwhhhhhaaaat (insert scooby doo sound effect for dramatic pause).

Must blank from mind.....Must blank from mind.....Must

Anyhoo, glad to see that you goth dirt bags off your back! Those Bastards!!

Love - your broths

3:17 PM  
Blogger VinnyDF said...

By the way.... that vinnydf sure is one good spellr ...goth???? Possibly he went to a college in the southern Appalachian part of Ohio.... maybe OU???

3:21 PM  
Blogger VinnyDF said...

By the way #2 (man I'm sure annoying)

Isn’t the correct way to describe $4000 buckaroos correctly 4000 Wendy’s junior bacon cheeseburgers??

I'm just saying......

3:25 PM  
Blogger tara d. said...

who is this guy?

6:30 PM  
Blogger tara d. said...



is i hope what you actually say when you vomit. (don't vomit, though!) i had a bit with someone - please, if it's you, speak up, because i can't remember who this is - that you would say something hilarious the next time they vom. is it you, rance? i can't rememb.

6:32 PM  
Blogger tara d. said...

p.p.s., zach, i thought about you a ton. does that count? i almost stopped by because i knew you couldn't hobble around too much. but almost doesn't count for shit, right?


p.p.p.s, swartz, by the way, where is the bomb hid?

6:40 PM  
Anonymous Rico Diablo said...

Yeah, who the f*&# would want to sue you?

11:02 PM  
Anonymous Montecore's Revenge said...

"BOING!" is a funny word. A funny, multi-purpose word at that.

Did you get my communique?

11:19 PM  
Blogger Zach said...

I'll take your thoughts anyday, life coach!

2:42 PM  

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