Tuesday, October 04, 2005

it's not the taste, it's the texture*

water chestnuts are for f*cks.

they were hiding out in some whip-it-up leanish-cuisine i just scarfed.
i mean what i'm saying re: chestnuts. if this makes us enemies, so be it.

here's what else is for f*cks:
mushrooms, specifically button = similar to necking, then biting through someone's earlobe (it's happened!) (it hasn't.)
bamboo, cooked = get out of my mouth, slimebag! (not talking about necking here, though i could be, with some of my less than inspiring or intelligent choices)

i feel fine about:
celery
cottage cheese
tomatoes
(but i understand your stringy/curdish/mealy complaints)

you've got some, i bet.


*this is quickly becoming the 2000s "it's not the heat, it's the humidity".

7 Comments:

Anonymous trace said...

you have to admit td...that clean crisp crunch in the midst of a stir fry can be fabulous.

don't judge me.

i like the water chests.

but i can't stand peas - they really make me gag and sprouts are like eating hair.

puke and puke.

10:23 AM  
Anonymous Wang said...

hmmm, I'm with you on the water chestnuts and the bamboo. They have ruined many a meal for me.

However, I loves me some mushrooms. There is something I like about the sensation of piercing that outer skin of the mushroom (earlobe) for a buttery explosion of goodness. Call me crazy.

5:39 PM  
Anonymous Meg said...

YES-- mushrooms are exactly like earlobes. I've been saying this for years. But you don't even get the pleasure of necking first-- it's more like you're sitting on the bus and as you're going around a bend a sweaty old bag lady stumbles and falls, ear-first, into your mouth and you accidentally bite down.

Let's not forget this is a fungus, people.

On another note: beer tastes like ear wax to me. That's why I drink girly-drinks.

3:54 PM  
Blogger tara d. said...

tracy - peas, really? interesting... but we aren't friends anymore.

judging,
td

11:59 PM  
Blogger tara d. said...

wang! there's only one guy i know who would be named wang... is this wang godfried?

hi, levin! (mushrooms are dumb!)

meg cannon, you are perfection, and the idea of anyone falling into anyone earlobe first is the funniest thing ever.

12:01 AM  
Anonymous wang said...

Alas no. How I wish it were. Wang Godfried is such a great name!

Wang is a monicker bestowed on me by my friend Scotty, whom I also call Wang. It's from "Big Trouble in Little China".

Despite the fact that Scotty isn't here, I continue to stick with it b/c I feel it helps compensate for my impossibly small weiner.

8:54 AM  
Blogger tara d. said...

no way! i thought for sure it was levin. funny. my friend dave, when performing at csz, has to use jibberish for a few (clean) short form games. he incessantly says the word "wang" as a nonsense word, and i always laugh.

well, hi, wang.

8:59 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Web Site Counter
Web Site Counter
« chicago blogs »
<-- ? In MY Opinion # -->