...that was the year i got attacked by red ants

in dire need of changes, i went to get a haircut and new reading glasses. i now look like a whip-smart internet start-up guru. my 20/20 vision has been strained just recently by strange kryptonite - but i look temporarily adorable, just like playing dress-up. yeah, change!

the haircut is pretty dope, too - well done, milio's. i have gone to milio's for nearly every haircut i've had in this city. not because it's a liberal place (it is), and not because they're friendly (they aren't), but because it's cheap, cool, and close-by - and everytime i go, i get a new stylist. i like the service from every one, but i switch because they are all the best slice of life you'll get.

yesterday was no exception - lars. lars, y'all. lars is slender, has dark shaggy hair, and wears those kareem abdul-jabbar basketball goggles. lars and i were fast friends; i told him i was in comedy, and he seemed excited, and quickly told me he was a vent. no idea. a what? "i have four vents," he said. "i'm a ventriliquist." you bet you are.

so time passed, he snipped away, and he vented all his venting stories (see what i did there?). he does kids parties and goes to the conference each year in KY (road trip!). we talked about all the places he's been; he's traveled extensively to Czech Repub, about to go to Vietnam, Cambodia, and Thailand. he mentioned how he grew up in the midwest - Kansas City - and left there when he was fifteen for LA because he got an "itch", just like we all do at 15. we do? he asked if i'd been to Austin. i told him i'd been through it, but that was all. "That's okay. I had bad luck there," he muttered, then went on to spew the story attached with the title of this entry.

"It fucking hurts," he said.
i have no doubts.

thanks, lars.