they's got gold fever!

these gigs can get very lonely, so you become an expert in the art of being alone, rather than letting yourself get lonely. i'm the only one from chi out here this time, and so far, i've been okay. thank goodness i've been making out with half of the people i've been teaching! (this is partly true.) tonight, i had a moment when i needed one of you here.

when i run from caesar's (where i'm staying) to the workshops in bally's claridge (where i'm teaching), the walk is about the length of four football fields, and all wind-y and twisty. on this run, i have to go through several connected casinos. one is called the wild, wild west. it is ridiculous and outdated and relatively small in comparison to the monsters one would see out here.

in the middle of the wild, wild west, i found the best gift i have been given this week: a huge constructed fake canyon, equipped with an animatronic prospector and mule, looking for gold.

lightning crashes above in fake canyon. i sprint by.

"oh, i didn't see yas there!", he screams above din of waterfall.

i laugh and think of every improv cliche ever. i stop. this voice is exactly the voice you think of when you think of old prospector. i wait.

"well, me and my fleabag been looking for gold for dayssss now."

i look burro in eyes. i feel bad for burro. i audibly "aww". burro's ears flip. burro brays as retort to a-hole.

"we're lucky though - some of them fools up there been looking for much longer. they don't know what in tarnation to do! they don't know they'll never find it! hee - HEE- hee- hee- heee!" (this laugh should be nearly identical to a bad guy in a scooby-doo cartoon.)

i am speechless. my mouth is now agape. it is perfection.
"y'see, they don't know what to do. they's got GOLLLD FEVER!"

at this point, cut to me rolling on the ground, howling.
man... why aren't you here, everyone?
this is to you, who would laugh with.