Friday, August 26, 2005

she's a [LADY]

pre- my drive tonight, i went to walgreens for back to school tolietries (i like to make believe). be warned: you think a product like adidas deodorant would work like a charm - NO! it smells like mop fluid and gives people headaches (i've talked to several girls about this). i wanted to like it very much, but i cannot. i was driven to then buy a product of the "lady" variety. you know, lady speed stick, lady mennen, lady wheni'mwithyouiamsmilin', lady whatthefuck.

if you wanted to see my dander up, you should've talked to me about "lady" things in '92-98. i think it all started way back when, when all our sports teams in high school deferred to the men's teams, calling us the "Lady Eagles". i hated it. hated.

i don't know why exactly, and sure, i could go on a women's studies diatribe, one which is fair: products mandate male things as standard, and categorize female things as "female", thus leading products/sports teams/unisexing to brandize a counterpoint, instead of making it the standard as well. simply said - it's stupes and outdated just to mark things for girls. can you imagine if the girls had been "the eagles", and the men were "gentlemen eagles"? that sounds better anyway. at the very least, it's funnier. pip pip, good gent!

but, when it comes down to it: i think i hate it, really, because lady is just a dumb word. i mean, it's fine and doesn't bother me day to day, but i am not a lady! i mean, i'm not some crass a-hole (just proved wrong, possibly), but i'm not a "lady". it signifies age, it signifies class. doesn't it?

then, when i'm fake school-shopping, i'm left with little choice. it's either a., adidas or sport-town; b., what i imagine to be hooker spray; or c., lady whatnot. so, next time, when you see a bunch of girls slapping "lady" products of various kinds on - think of the consequences, america.

think about it.


they're in towels in a locker room...
all wet from showering...


maybe this lady thing isn't so bad.


Blogger christine said...

How about Kenyon....their mascot is the "lords" and the "ladies"....or amherst...they are the "lord Jeffs" I actually don't know what the women's teams are...the "lady Lord Jeff's" How about Jeff's Lady or Mrs. Jeff Lord. Who knows. Titles are weird. We found that out doing wedding invitations. I pretty much refused to call people Mr and Mrs. John Connelly. Especially when the male half of that saluation could have been included as an "as guest"....(we knew her better than him.)
Tracy does those whitewater things (tara, you know) and befor one of the more scary rapids, she will don some (fake) pearls. The superstition (passed down from another woman guide) is that this rapid "would never take a lady." She was putting them on and explaining to her passangers this reason and one said "it'll take more than THOSE to make YOU a lady!" How mean?!? Lady....I agree.....overused!

6:17 PM  
Blogger Paulina Whatsername said...

That's a pretty interesting post and yeah, Lady is pretty overused, isn't it?

2:05 PM  
Anonymous Howie said...

I hate how the "lady" ones always smell like the randomest things, like just because I'm female I want to smell like fruit. I keep getting buyer's amnesia repeatedly and buying the same friggin' Lady Speed Stick that smells like green apples. My armpits smell like JOLLY RANCHERS. That's just weird. So I've made a pledge to just not buy the Lady ones anymore.

12:43 AM  

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