Monday, April 23, 2007

seriously, nephews

...stop reading this, or you'll learn a lot of harsh realities (about easter, and if you read two posts earlier, insane women regarding boning).

another year, another dollar. i got the lucky job of being the easter bunny this year for a few days at macy's through csz. i was paired up with rance and deanna this year, who got to be - yup, you guessed it! - connie the chicken and nutbag the steer.

as said bunny, you cannot talk - you just do a lot of dancing around and tossing newborns with your slippery, lawsuit-pending velveteen hands. there's only one airhole in that mascot head, so, needless to say, it's pretty rough in there. i passed out a few times until the spirit of easter hit me - a little girl at our farthest table, bum-rushing me over and over again, telling me how much she loved the bunny. she was a beautiful little girl i think named annalisa, wide-eyed, probably 7. an older girl (12?) who was clearly over it passed right by me and didn't give a hoot about the bunny, and the little girl i loved saw it. "hey!", she said to the other girl. then she turned to me and deanna and said, "does that hurt your feelings?" i almost cried a litts until she looked like she was going to punch the old bag, so then i just danced around (pretending that i didn't want to see that fight). she had already ripped out her earrings and put vaseline on her cheeks, so, you know.

ah, easter.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

The phrase "only one airhole in that mascot head" sounds like it should be followed with a "if-you-know-what-i-mean".

Por ejemplo: "That fool only has one airhole in his mascot head, if you know what I mean."

12:38 PM  

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