seriously, nephews

...stop reading this, or you'll learn a lot of harsh realities (about easter, and if you read two posts earlier, insane women regarding boning).

another year, another dollar. i got the lucky job of being the easter bunny this year for a few days at macy's through csz. i was paired up with rance and deanna this year, who got to be - yup, you guessed it! - connie the chicken and nutbag the steer.

as said bunny, you cannot talk - you just do a lot of dancing around and tossing newborns with your slippery, lawsuit-pending velveteen hands. there's only one airhole in that mascot head, so, needless to say, it's pretty rough in there. i passed out a few times until the spirit of easter hit me - a little girl at our farthest table, bum-rushing me over and over again, telling me how much she loved the bunny. she was a beautiful little girl i think named annalisa, wide-eyed, probably 7. an older girl (12?) who was clearly over it passed right by me and didn't give a hoot about the bunny, and the little girl i loved saw it. "hey!", she said to the other girl. then she turned to me and deanna and said, "does that hurt your feelings?" i almost cried a litts until she looked like she was going to punch the old bag, so then i just danced around (pretending that i didn't want to see that fight). she had already ripped out her earrings and put vaseline on her cheeks, so, you know.

ah, easter.