wanderville

busy days of not much.

i've been sort of lamenting lately; lamenting that there isn't nearly enough time, all the time.

not for the usual reasons, like i have too much to do or too many shows, too much work - no. i just feel like i want more time to be a thousand different me-s, to try everything there is to try. to be alone and sit with my thoughts, to be together with friends 10x more, to call family at every turn.

am i doing things that matter? shouldn't i volunteer more? shouldn't i want to teach? am i dating the person i'm dating enough? am i trying to find my spirituality? am i doing much of much importance?

i dunno.

i feel good. i don't feel depressed. i feel like i can't find enough time. i feel like at the end of your life, you'll never feel like you had enough time. but, i guess that's good - it might be fucked up if you felt like there was plenty.