Friday, December 30, 2005

fpdg: it's a sign

uh-oh! back in chicago, just in time to catch something bad before three big shows this weekend. i sneezed very quietly at the columbus air-p on the way back, and an elderly woman cutely said "well, that's a souvenir you don't want to take home". i laughed, then i decked her.

so, after a rough night of (no) sleep, i finally passed out and woke with no voice (yikes!), but with no more pain. the voice robber was merciful. i guess i better not talk 'til i gotta.

but, the real reason i set the scene, there, was to let you know what melodious strain woke me in my gorgeous bar corridor:
"let's get (clap, clap)
let's get (clap, clap)
-three dudes

all fine and good, except it was 10:20 am.

okay, so those dudes know it's friday, and it's time for the FRIDAY-PSEUDO-DRINKING GAME! it's multi-themed, since so much is afoot.

i've never:
missed someone i "shouldn't" on a holiday
lost my voice at a precarious time
worked a strange seasonal job that not many know about (on college breaks, or in adult life)

(remember, you drink if you have. get to comments and get b-l-a-s...ted!)


Blogger tara d. said...

yes, for those who have come here to answer, this means i have done all three things. i can't post 'em if i haven't, and this goes for every fpdg that has happened.

1. drink: of course. ended relationship woes here and there, the shouldicalls or shouldiresponds. those are tough. not naming names, so eat it.

2. drank: yes, like now- i constantly am losing my voice usually at/during csz shows. especially if i'm reffing, maybe only if i'm reffing. i like to get all riled up. riled! but this one is just a cold before iO & csz... yikes! hang in t. i think it's usually strain/stress induced.

3. drunk: i've had some weird ones, like the MFs jobs, but one of the worst-best was UPS. yes, UPS. i was a "jumper" (the person that rode around with the driver and ran to the door with boxes) for a month, twice. my university was on quarters, so we had big holiday breaks. you got 12 bones an hour for this, which then, was like ROLLING IN CA$H MONEY, DOG!, so i did it. there are about a zillion stories from this time period. and yes, i wore the uniform.

did somebody have a package they need handled? (cues stripper music)

2:22 PM  
Blogger kris said...

1. Not drink. I usually passive-aggressively made sure that my dying relationships managed to limp through whatever big holiday was closest, pretty much purely for this reason. And by the time it ended, I was usually so sick of the person that I didn't miss them at all. It's a great system!

2. Drink. I sat out on the sidewalk outside Movies 10 in South Bend all night waiting in line to get tickets to "The Phantom Menace," and I caught a cold and developed laryngitis all, like, in the space of eight hours, so when the stupid local reporter came to interview us the next morning I sounded like a sixty-year-old chain smoker. And of course they put that bit on the news and my Mom taped it onto my South Park tape and periodically I forget that it's there until someone is watching said tape and suddenly Cartman goes away and there I am with the horrible FROG VOICE, and I will never live it down. And, of course, graduation was in four days and I couldn't talk or anything, but it's mostly the videotape that still irks me.

3. Not drink. I haven't done anything really wacky, though I did work at our (sole) local gas station the summer before college. I got to serve "spicy wedges" to truckers on speed. Fun times.

5:19 PM  
Anonymous Montecore's Revenge said...

1. Drink. Her name was Tahan. She had the finest coat I've ever seen. It still hurts to think about it. I see those stripes in my dreams . . .

2. Not drink. I've never lost my voice, and, truth be told, even if I did, it wouldn't be a major issue. I use it mostly to make non-specific threatening noises to scare and amaze onlookers. If I lost it, I would simply shift gears from "fearsome" to "ominous." Problem solved.

3. Drink. FedEx. Small world, huh? The uniform never fit right.

Yes, I have a package that needs handling.

1:06 AM  
Blogger VinnyDF said...

Best Ever chant!"let's get (clap, clap)
let's get (clap, clap)

By the way, this ones for you sista! CHINGIDY CHING!!!

6:44 AM  
Blogger tara d. said...

howie (kris), what the hell are spicy wedges? i'm imagining them like the things you get at kfc - potato things.

it'd be funny if i was wrong somehow.

9:20 AM  
Blogger tara d. said...

montecore's revenge - ever the mystery - how are you?

i think it's great that you have the profile of a safari cat, yet you worked for fedex.


9:22 AM  
Blogger tara d. said...


i've gotta listen to that.
(dominick the singing donkey was a big joke this christmas back home.)

keep 'em coming, people. i love it. tracy and chrissy, after your demands, you better answer this shit.

p.s., my "word verification" below this time was "velvtay". mmmm, velvtay. or velvtay in the win.

9:26 AM  
Blogger christine said...

I NEVER PLAYED - because I was working on Friday. Can we postpone to sat night if we are busy on the actual FPDG day?
1) drink
2) not drink
3) drink - this is the only one funny explaining because I DID work for the "Ohio Christmas Tree Association" and put out mailings and fliers and generally organized the christmas tree growers all across Ohio and in other midwestern states.

I was one of the big advocates/proponents/instigators of the Christmas Tree Rate Hike of the late 90's early 2000's.....You know, they used to be $10-15 off a lot in central Ohio. Now, no less than $45 and a big profit for my growers (my peops).
Just kidding, I had no part in that.

7:15 PM  

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